One Year Anniversary

Halloween marked the one year anniversary of my being gluten-free, and I feel like celebrating it with a blog post. The past year has been a time of learning for me-- learning what foods are safe for me and my girls to eat, learning new ways to prepare meals, learning what to order at fast food restaurants, and the hardest of all-- learning to say no when a plate full of pumpkin cookies is sitting on my counter, brought by a thoughtful ward member.
People ask me all the time "Isn't it hard?"
Short answer: Yes, yes it is.
Long answer: It's hard, but it's worth it.
One year ago I was recovering from the birth of my fourth baby. I was sick to my stomach all the time, but blamed it on the easy processed food meals I had stocked up on, knowing I wouldn't feel like cooking with a newborn. I had uncontrollable diarrhea, horrendous gas, and stomach cramps that made me lay down on the floor and cry. And yet, I was trying to live my normal life taking care of my family and church responsibilities. I remember one night being over at the church setting up for our big Daddy/Daughter night for Activity Days and having to leave my fellow leaders for a few minutes while I went into the restroom and puked my guts out. Or another time when I stayed home from church with the baby and while he napped I curled up on my bed, sobbing because I was fairly sure I was dying. Maybe this is TMI, but I feel like you need to know how bad it was so you can understand where I'm coming from.
So, finally I went to the doctor and he ran some tests. A simple blood test, and then a nasty test where you catch your fecal matter in a cup and take it in to the hospital lab. He called me back within a few days for results and confirmed that I had Celiac Disease, which meant that I could no longer eat gluten. He referred me to a specialist, but by the time they could get me in I had already inundated myself with information from the internet.
Essentially Celiac is an auto-immune disorder. Your intestines are lined with villi that aid in the absorption of nutrients from food. But when a person with Celiac eats gluten, it damages those villi so they are not able to absorb the nutrients and the person becomes malnourished.
This explained so much of what had been happening with my body over the past seven years. I was severely anemic, and no amount of iron supplements or IV therapy was raising my hemoglobin levels. I was moody, fatigued, and had no energy to play with my kids. My prepregnancy weight was the same as what I weighed when I started junior high. I had unexplained bruises and a mysterious rash on my bum that had been there for three years.
I will be honest with you, although it was nice to have an answer to my health problems, I was depressed about my future. No more donuts? Pizza? Pie at Thanksgiving or hamburgers on the 4th of July? I was afraid to eat anything and thus ate nothing more than rice and baked potatoes for about two weeks. I also felt like I was living in a fog, where the world around me just didn't make a lot of sense and I had to think really hard about how to do basic things. I now think this was part gluten induced and part depression induced. It really felt like a part of me had died and I mourned for it.
But you can't live like that forever. So I went to some gluten-free cooking classes, got a couple new recipe books, scoured blogland, and became good friends with the health food store. And, slowly, I began to recover. I figured out that most Mexican food doesn't have gluten, so we ate a lot of that at first. I learned how to make my own cream of chicken soup which helped me to convert a lot of our family's favorite recipes. I even began making my own bread (gasp!)
The deal was sealed when my two oldest girls were also diagnosed with Celiac. As a mother and as a practical person, I realized that I could not cook separate meals for those in our family who could eat gluten.... and so we became a gluten free house. Now any time I make lasagna, muffins, pancakes, etc. I do it gluten free and everyone eats it. And we're none the worse for it.
In fact, we're healthier than ever. Personally, I feel more energetic and can do things like do the dishes AND chase my kids around in the backyard in the same day. My body is stronger and I enjoy exercise because it doesn't completely drain me like it did before. I don't get stomachaches or nauseous. After I had been gluten free for a few months I went to a family party and one of my cousins summed it up best when she said, "You don't look like you're dead anymore!"
This is not to say that I would choose this lifestyle. It's expensive and time consuming. For example, to purchase a loaf of gluten free bread costs $5.79, and of course making it myself costs less but takes several hours between mixing, rising, baking, and washing dishes. It's also isolating. I am the one at the party who can only eat the no-bake cookies, or the one at the restaurant that is constantly ordering salad. And it's frustrating, especially for my girls, who get invited to birthday parties where they can't have any cake (unless I remember to make them a special cupcake to take with them, but then we're getting back into the time-consuming argument), and who are languishing because there are only 3 choices of gluten free breakfast cereal.
I am grateful that society is more aware of Celiac and companies do a better job labeling their food as gluten free, but I still worry about what it will be like for my girls growing up. Will they be able to go to girls' camp? What about when they go to college? Will food become their enemy and they'll end up with some kind of eating disorder?
No one can say. What I know is that for now, we are healthier-- and happier-- living gluten free.

Max's First Haircut

It had to be done. Those wings were about ready to take flight. I held out till after his first birthday for sentimental reasons, but knew it needed to happen.

Here we are before:

 and during

 And after

lucky for Max, I found a tutorial online about how to cut boy's hair. Which I'm sure is just as good as going to beauty school, right?
The big sadness of this episode is that his sweet baby curls seem to have vanished with the haircut. Glad I saved one in a Ziploc to tape into his journal. (Yes, I am THAT mom.)

ONE Little Monster

After what seems to be the fastest year of my life, our little guy turned ONE. Who can believe it?

I decided he needed a Little Monster birthday because it kind of fits his personality. He's the sweetest little guy, but he is also a bit of a trouble maker. The kind of trouble where he empties out all my cupboards all the time, is constantly in the dishwasher searching for sharp knives, and occasionally dumps his sisters' tea set in the toilet. That kind of Little Monster. 

 We had the grandparents come down for Kate's soccer game then a birthday party afterward.

One thing is for sure, I do not have a future in the cake decorating business.

Not that he is complaining.

He was a little confused by the cake at first, but then started to devour it.

And then, right before my eyes, he went into sugar shock and fell back in a daze.

Loves to Grandma Nancy and Grandpa Cory!

And Grandma Alice and Pappy. By this point, he was beyond ready to go to bed. Even fun birthday parties must come to an end I guess.
So, after a year of having a boy, I feel like I should give an update. For a long time, I thought I couldn't do it. I was truly afraid of boys. But with the help of my friends' little boys, I came around and actually wanted a little boy of my own. Now I am so glad to have him. Ohhhh, he is sweet. So, so, so sweet. I love his sweet curly hair, his soft as silk baby skin, his mischievous little smile. I love to see him crawl around at lightning speed, exploring his world. I love watching him try to play fetch with Daisy, or when Evie plays fetch with him. I love to hear him babble away while I get ready in the morning. I love to cuddle him close and put him in bed at night. Every night I tell him, "I love you more than anything in the world. Nothing will ever stop me from loving you." And it's absolutely true.

Joy!

Time for Joy School Round Two!

 starring Eve, Erin, Wade, Connor, and Brighton

This girl cracks me up. She was so excited for preschool to start, thanks to her sisters talking it up so much. And she was REALLY looking forward to wearing new school clothes. Isn't she a cutie!

Back in Class

Much to our dismay, the glorious summer ended. And somehow these little darlings are bigger and more beautiful each year. Can't believe how fast it goes.

Love that they are sisters and best friends. Love that they go to school together (ALL day!). Love that they even play together at recess sometimes. Love them so much.

Planting Seeds

Sometimes when you're raising kids you just hope and pray that they're paying attention, somehow absorbing all the good things you're trying to teach to them. Sometimes you're just hoping to make it through the day without getting poop on your clothes. The trouble is, you never really know what kind of day it's going to be.
Here in our family, we are THRILLED about the Payson Temple. From the moment it was announced, I have looked forward to a new temple, especially because my kids would be able to see it come together. We went to the broadcast of the groundbreaking ceremony last year about 25 seconds after Max was born because we wanted our kids to know how important this temple is to us. I remember one of the speakers saying, "Look at these young children here. They'll be there for the temple dedication, and one day they will come back here to this temple to do baptisms for the dead, and later receive their endowment and be sealed." My mind blurred with the thought of my sweet little ones literally growing up with this beautiful temple.
So, because we already love it, we sometimes go out just to check on it.

There's a great little mound of dirt that you can climb up to look over the fence.

 See the crane in the background? They're doing something over there, like elevator shafts I think.

 Sometimes the best view is up on Daddy's shoulders.

Let it be known that we did take Eve with us to see the temple, but she fell asleep in the car and didn't want to get out. Don't worry, we'll go back. She will still have the chance to "make this temple her own," in the words of our stake president tonight.

So..... we decided to take the kids up to the open house of the Brigham City temple for the same reason. Give them the chance to feel the Spirit, see how beautiful it is, make commitments to return one day.
Only this time didn't go so smoothly. First was the super long drive for which I was woefully unprepared. Not enough snacks, books, and even the converter for Trav's computer was broken (that's because I tried using it for my Crockpot while we drove up to Salt Lake the week before. My bad.) Then we got there and waited in an uber long line, Max was poopy, the kids were hungry.... The temple was nice, but the kids were not exactly inclined to the experience. After we went through, there were cookies that my kids couldn't eat (that always makes them grumpy), we went to Wendy's and waited in a 40 minute line, someone (can't remember who...) had diarrhea all over their clothes. It was rough.

 This picture is a pretty accurate representation of how they were feeling at this point.

Even though it wasn't perfect, I am glad we went. Because we are planting seeds. We are trying to give these kids opportunities, to put them in places where they will feel the Holy Ghost whispering to them of their divine heritage and eternal destiny. Who knows what they will remember from this day? Mighty trees begin as tiny seeds, strong testimonies are built while children are young.
At least that's what I'm praying for.

Let Evie Be Evie

 You know who's awesome?
Eve, that's who.
This little girl has always been one of a kind. She looks at the world in a different way than her sisters or her parents. She approaches problems differently, people differently, even foods differently than anyone else in this family.
For a while, I struggled with it. Why couldn't she just do things my way? Why couldn't she just do what I asked? Then one night, Trav and I were watching "The West Wing" (okay, yes, that show is more than a decade old, but it's pretty much the only TV show we both enjoy. Unless you count Good Luck Charlie.) Anyway, the title of the episode was "Let Bartlett Be Bartlett" and for some reason that resonated with us. We decided to "Let Evie Be Evie" and it has been so fun to change our parenting strategy so that it matches better with her little personality.

 Here's what you've got to know about Eve: She is fiercely independent. She wants to do everything by herself. She also wants to do everything her sisters do, even if she seems a little young for it. For example, a couple weeks ago, we were at my parents' house teaching Anna and Kate how to dive into the water. Little Eve was playing in the shallow end, but once she saw what the big girls were doing, she came right over to the side of the pool and did a perfect dive the very first time. Before her sisters figured it out. There is a quote floating around Pinterest that I am going to hang above her bed: She Believed She Could So She Did. It perfectly describes this sweetheart.
I've learned I can't push her into doing things, but once she decides she is ready and interested in doing something, she will do it right away, and she will work at it until she gets it done.
Eve has also perfected the art of making a PBJ. She does everything all by herself, and if I dare to get in her way, she shoos me out. It's a little messy, but who am I to interfere with her blossoming culinary skills?
One of my favorite things that Eve says lately is "It's better than nothin'." This could be about anything. It's better to get one scoop of ice cream than none, it's better to have shoes that are too small than no shoes at all, it's better to play with friends for a few minutes than not at all. She cracks me up with her upbeat little voice, "Better than nothin', right Mom?

And one of my favorite things is to see how her relationship with Max is changing. He's no longer a little baby that takes attention away from her. Now he's a genuine playmate, and she loves it. They have a game they play called Toss TuttleTim where she throws a little stuffed turtle and he chases after it. It never gets old! They even play Hide and Seek, where she hides behind the couch or something and calls out "Max, where's Evie?" and he will crawl around until he finds her. It is so cute.
I sure do love my Eve. She makes me laugh every single day, she gives the tightest hugs, loves to snuggle and read books, and even melts my heart when she sings Primary songs the wrong way: "Choose the right, when a place is choiced before you." What a blessing in my life!